Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Bottoms up

Despite my best efforts the pieces weren't attaching to my undergarments. Armour was sliding off my arms, and slipping down my legs. Clearly, a new plan was required.

I asked around on www.therpf.com and a helpful soul suggested...well, spandex.

I have run a marathon in the past, and happened to have some spandex bottoms to use. I quickly bought a spandex shirt (£14.99) and completed my strangely snug spandex look. This was a little strange, particularly as, being a fat guy, I tend to run a mile from figure-hugging elasticated clothing.

Still, the spandex was only the first step. The second was to create hooks on the undergarments, then literally hook the armour into place. This may sound odd, but it's a far more sensible approach to my previous efforts, which largely consisted of trying to create a webbing harness, or sticking endless reams of Velcro to body parts.

The end result worked perfectly. I bought some fur hooks (hooks lined with cloth, which gave the hot glue necessary purchase), and then proceeded to attach them to my spandex pants and my thigh armour. I then donned the wellies to appraise the overall look.

Not exactly a timeless appearance.

Overall I'm quite pleased with how it's going. The one issue, if I'm brutally honest, is that the thigh armour makes my legs look skinny. This is surreal (believe me, my legs are *not* skinny), but importantly it doesn't have that Shep look. 

I also have quite a lot more space on the shins than I first thought. Rather than make a shin guard though, I figure a little converting work to some football shin pads will bulk things up nicely, and make it look like I don't have knobbly knees.

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